These Colors Don't Match

Domestic Surveillance is an important tool in the war on terror...but it's also fun

The President listening in on soldier's Christmas calls home

It Was a Heck-of-A Year

The President says 2005 “was a good year for the American people” and it's easy to see why. If you were born rich it probably was, or if you had six weeks vacation.
If you knew you were never going to actually have to fight in a war.
If you were flying over New Orleans rather than wading through it.
If you didn’t have to wrestle through the Medicare prescription drug application.
If you didn’t have to pay for your own gas (or jet fuel).
If you didn’t have to drive the Hum Vee without the proper armor.
If you didn’t have to declare bankruptcy.
If you weren’t nominated to the Supreme Court.
If you didn’t have to convince the Senate to let your wife die with dignity.
If you didn’t receive bribe money from Tom Delay.
If you didn’t receive bribe money from Jack Abramoff.
If you didn’t receive bribe money from defense contractors.
If you didn’t have your cover blown.
If you didn’t have to take the fall for Dick Cheney.
If you didn't print everything that Chalabi told you.
If you didn’t get Rove off the hook.
If you weren’t an Eskimo.
If your son wasn’t sent home from Iraq in the baggage section of a commercial airplane.

I guess the President knows better than anyone how good a year we had… he read our emails.

War On Christmas, If You Want It

Religious Zealots should lay off this “War on Christmas” idea and stick to what they do best-molesting children, blowing up abortion clinics and destroying science education. Christmas is for unchecked commercialism, it has nothing to do with Jesus. He was dirt poor, although I think his progeny got the rights to his book.
That having been said, if progressives are going to be accused of waging war on Christmas, than we might as well. It could be fun. It would be about as logical as a war on drugs or terror, and probably more effective.
First we’ll have to secure the perimeter. I propose a ban on all reindeer immigration. Of course all suspicious –thick bearded- characters attempting to fly into the country will have to receive a full cavity-search for toys. Elves are small and probably relatively easy to kill, but the powerful Manger lobby could be tough to deal with. As far as dealing with the celebrants, we could use internment. And if that doesn’t work we could go back to lions.
Happy Holidays