These Colors Don't Match

Domestic Surveillance is an important tool in the war on terror...but it's also fun

The President listening in on soldier's Christmas calls home

It Was a Heck-of-A Year

The President says 2005 “was a good year for the American people” and it's easy to see why. If you were born rich it probably was, or if you had six weeks vacation.
If you knew you were never going to actually have to fight in a war.
If you were flying over New Orleans rather than wading through it.
If you didn’t have to wrestle through the Medicare prescription drug application.
If you didn’t have to pay for your own gas (or jet fuel).
If you didn’t have to drive the Hum Vee without the proper armor.
If you didn’t have to declare bankruptcy.
If you weren’t nominated to the Supreme Court.
If you didn’t have to convince the Senate to let your wife die with dignity.
If you didn’t receive bribe money from Tom Delay.
If you didn’t receive bribe money from Jack Abramoff.
If you didn’t receive bribe money from defense contractors.
If you didn’t have your cover blown.
If you didn’t have to take the fall for Dick Cheney.
If you didn't print everything that Chalabi told you.
If you didn’t get Rove off the hook.
If you weren’t an Eskimo.
If your son wasn’t sent home from Iraq in the baggage section of a commercial airplane.

I guess the President knows better than anyone how good a year we had… he read our emails.

War On Christmas, If You Want It

Religious Zealots should lay off this “War on Christmas” idea and stick to what they do best-molesting children, blowing up abortion clinics and destroying science education. Christmas is for unchecked commercialism, it has nothing to do with Jesus. He was dirt poor, although I think his progeny got the rights to his book.
That having been said, if progressives are going to be accused of waging war on Christmas, than we might as well. It could be fun. It would be about as logical as a war on drugs or terror, and probably more effective.
First we’ll have to secure the perimeter. I propose a ban on all reindeer immigration. Of course all suspicious –thick bearded- characters attempting to fly into the country will have to receive a full cavity-search for toys. Elves are small and probably relatively easy to kill, but the powerful Manger lobby could be tough to deal with. As far as dealing with the celebrants, we could use internment. And if that doesn’t work we could go back to lions.
Happy Holidays

Republicans in the House and Senate are proposing a Trillion dollars in tax cuts, most of which would go to the top 1% of the piss pyramid. It’s not as important to the American way of life as a missing blond, but a Trillion is a big number so I have been mulling over a Democratic response. I think it should go something like this…

Republican: “This tax relief is necessary to bring fairness back to the tax code.”

Democrat: “If this tax package passes we’ll raise an army, come to Washington and burn your fucking houses down.”

Republicans went through the trouble of knocking us unconscious so now they figure they might as well rape us. But they might not get away with it this time, the wind is shifting. Beltway druids are staring at the innards of civil society, trying to glean the answer to the eternal question of why the public has suddenly decided George Bush is a liar. I’ll give them a hint-It’s because of all the lying. Everything has it’s limits, even our stupidity. Now the cable’s fucked up so we’re getting off the couch, and Republicans don’t fare well when Americans are standing up.
Off with their heads, I say.

Pass the Paper

Yesterday all legitimate debate about whether or not to create a timeline for withdrawal of troops from Iraq ended. The Iraqis settled the argument, once and for all, by demanding one. The Bush administration responded immediately by claiming “multi national forces are in Iraq under a UN mandate” and by insinuation that that trumps any Iraqi mandate. This administration’s devotion to the UN is rivaled only by it’s dedication to the spread of democracy.
Republican’s have been using the suffering of Iraqis as a political lever for five years. They waved purple fingers in the face of all dissenting opinion and now they are playing the UN card to counter the wishes of the Iraqi government? So much for all that bull shit about the importance of an independent democratic Iraq. The demand for a US timetable for withdrawal is one of the precious few things that Kurds, Shiites and Sunnis have been able to agree on, but hey we got that UN mandate thing…
Over the next week Republicans are going to attempt to make this more complicated than it actually is-but make no mistake-we are either liberators, or conquerors. We can’t be both.
Many of us have suspected all along that the real Neo-con tendency was toward the latter. That the idea of spreading “Democracy” was an easily digestible prepackaged meal that would be too tempting for Americans to pass up. That, to the cabal at AEI, Enterprise and Empire are synonyms. The good news is that now there is a simple litmus test to determine our real intentions. Either we are liberators, and we respect Iraqi demands for a timetable, or we are not, and we don’t.
Or we’ll be distracted by Republican hucksters as they make a scale model of reality out of Origami.

Support Their Troops

I love Rumsfeld. He’s a bona fide psychopath. It’s almost cute. Today he chastised Wolf Blitzer for harping on “this one little detail” when Wolf asked him why, after three years, only one Iraqi battalion was ready to fight on it’s own. It would be easier to ignore this little detail if every official speech on the war didn’t include the phrase “as the Iraqis stand up, we will stand down”. Appearing on CNN with his human shield and concur-a-tron, General nodalot Sunday the Secretary of Defense dodged reality like a matador. At one point the pair actually tried to make the case that it was somehow incorrect to expect Iraqi troops to be able to fight without US support because after all, our own troops need US support to fight too. I’m changing my bumper sticker- “Support Their Troops”.